Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Well - This is the last post

I moved on. And so should you.
Well, I moved the site across and built something new. It's still the screaming wall, but there'll be no more updates here. In fact it has all of the old posts.

So go to http://thescreamingwall.com/ and mark it in your Bookmarks/Favourites, you'll need to refresh your RSS subscriptions as well.

Thanks for the support.
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Wednesday, September 9, 2009

New Site Under Development

I guess it’s time for an explanation. For a while, I wanted more from the website. More images, more media, more content. Unfortunately, I’ve been neglecting the site a bit anyway from gaining something of a social life, and several changes to work that I have yet to document.

Either way, despite the ease of the blogger account, it would not give me the extra bits and pieces that I wanted for the site. So I have begun development on a new site, to make the screaming wall what it really should be.

The new site, with some new content should be up soon. I can’t nail a date at this point, but I’ll make a post here when it goes live. So either check back here or keep pressing F5 at thescreamingwall.com until the page changes.

Thanks

Jack

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Update for July

Well it’s been a month since my last update and I needed to explain some things as for the lack of updates and what was happening in the background.

I have been looking for a new job, since the joy was completely sucked out by a series of vampires management hired to boost morale. Unfortunately, these so-called children of the night have fed of my colleagues, and me, to continue their own damned, undead existence. There have been some difficulties in removing the parasites from their jobs as they managed to keep the HR department in their constant thrall with the promise of immortality and eternal beauty.

I may be transferred within the company away from the vampires, but there is no promise of this. I was told that cultists keep management in fear of more impending economic and financial doom. This has resulted in several rounds of redundancies and wicker men being built. The cultists claim that such sacrifices will be a greater benefit to the company. I do not believe this to be true.

So as a side thing, I needed a distraction and right now I have a photographer that pursues me like a bloodhound for website work. It’s modest stuff, but it gives me extra cash. And I need it. I was hit hard on the maintenance side of things, with equipment giving up the very spirits that I spent enslaving to work for me. I saw ghosts leave my laptop battery and something I cannot name rapidly aged the power supply. It cost me some good livestock to replenish these items, because the shaman wouldn’t just accept mushrooms, or precious beads.

Likewise, I needed some new eyes. And this was difficult at best. Especially, after hunting down the right person who had the same colour (off-grey) and then the delicate operation of removing them. I could never find the right tool. Ice cream scoop – too big, melon baller – too small. I just could not win.

I also got really bored, lonely and sad.

So to distract me overcome my issues, I decided to take on other projects, where hopefully I meet new people and create something others may enjoy. If we are all lucky, updates will be posted in due course.

Lastly, I am still writing Magpie, in case anyone was hanging out for it. I want to finish this story right, so I am going to complete it, edit and arrange it in the right order and then post it on a weekly basis. Hopefully. I’ll ask a magic 8-Ball about this while incanting the right words to check my course.

Thanks for keeping a silent vigil however, the few of you there are left.

Aeaeae,

Jack

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Magpie Part 5

High on the mountain, sat a lone shape. Cross-legged, his hands on his knees and eyes closed, Shaman let his thoughts wander, clearing his mind. He had not eaten in several days but he did not need food. Not at this point. He worked on a trick a wise man once taught him. He squinted his eyes for a second and then opened them. Everything that Shaman saw was now different.
The sky was no longer blue, but an iridescent black that glowed white at the edges of the horizon. The sun looked burnt out and a cold rusted brown. The land around the mountain was dotted with pits and craters where blood and other bodily fluids boiled up like lava and fumed like brimstone. The mountain too felt different, like it was made of skin and flesh and bone. As if it were some giant creature sleeping and dreaming, something that Shaman dared not to wake. The sky was filled with terrible winged creatures, forever screeching in torment for somewhere to land but finding no safety.

It was with this terrible vision that Shaman could see how things were connected. Lines glowing with phosphorescence came to and from him and lay their way across the world. He saw the Colonel’s getting fainter. His time was nearly up. He saw another line, glowing bright. Cassandra. Shaman wondered what might happen to his daughter when he was gone. He remembered the joy and brilliance of her birth. Then he felt the cold hard earth of the mountain beneath him. His lungs where filling with blood. A shadow passed over him. He was scared, because he didn’t know if he had the strength now. Because he didn’t know what she might do when he was gone. Would he be gone?

Shaman’s mind shifted back. Time meant little in this place. His future seemed to be present.

Wait, he thought to himself, concentrate. Do not get lost.

These were the words of his master.

Shaman was on this mountain decades ago, before his body was scarred from ink and battle. There he had sought something that no one else would. And his master lived on that mountain. This mountain.

His master was dark-skinned with long black hair, matted with beads and feathers. Just stood there laughing. Laughing at a half-starved Shaman.

- You foolish white man! You’ve killed yourself coming out here. What makes you think I will teach you what the World has forgotten?

Shaman drank from his master skull that night before the valley. When nothing that crossed him lived. The sky then was filled fire that rose so high it would burn the sun and roast the moon. In that moment the world had become like Shaman’s vision, an eternity of terror, lost souls trapped forever, cut and shot and split open, screaming, wanting only to go home.

After that day, everyone had seen what Shaman was capable of. Paris had seen it all in the mountain above, with those special eyes of his. Ichi, Jackson, Clarke and Clara knew what he had done on his own. They all feared him, especially Paris. He took his leave, because he knew it would be his last battle. Though he still provided information over glasses over whiskey from a bottle that survived such destruction that the fire and Shaman brought.

Coming back to the present, he could see that the Colonel’s glowing line was now gone. Cassandra’s nearby still glowed strong. Then Shaman saw something new. Dark and pulsing with power, iridescent like the sky. Shaman knew who this was. There was no separating that line from him. He felt cold, cold as the mountain, a shadow was passing over him. The dark line was drawing closer to Cassandra’s line. He was no longer on the mountain, he was in town, shocked onlookers were all around him. Cassandra felt cold in his arms. A shadow moved step by step to the horizon. No. Shaman was too late. The black steel gun is still smoking in Cassandra’s hands. A pale boy lies dead in bed, red splattered against the walls like some macabre halo. Shaman tries to look at his daughter, but a shadow has passed over her like a mourning veil. The shadow has become her. The ground feels as cold as Shaman’s body…

No. None of this has come to be yet. There is still time. Shaman blinked three times and world of endless horrors had transformed back to a mountain of stone and earth surrounded by what seemed to be an endless wasteland. Getting to his feet, he moved from the summit down to where a cave lay hidden behind a massive boulder. To him the boulder was light as a feather. And with both hands, Shaman shifted it with ease.

A glow came from within the cave, though no fires were lit. Shaman walked inside. The passage spiralled down deeper into the mountain. The narrow passage was warm, and moist, as though Shaman was slowly stepping down the gullet of a giant beast. It smelled faintly of a swamp. A sound of quiet breathing, of slumber could be heard. Shaman made no sound as he slowly descended down, deep into the earth..

Soon enough the passage opened up into a chamber hewn from rock. Into the walls shelves and niches were carved. On each of these was a skull. The light in here was spectral as it moved between a smoky yellow to phosphorate green to an alien indigo. Shaman stood in the centre of the chamber surrounded by the bones of dead men, former wise men and men like Shaman.

- Foolish White Man! You have gotten yourself killed…

It was the voice of his master. Shaman knew where the skull was. He had placed it there. He had killed his master. It was required. It was the final test. Single combat. To prove who was the stronger in will and form. It was a battle that felt like it raged for days, but could only have been moments. And until the very end, his master never submitted, never backed down. Even when Shaman had his hands around his throat and squeezed tighter and tighter and tighter.

- It is not too late to sever the threads. To save yourself. To save all of us.

Another voice, older than that of Shaman’s master.

- You want me to cut and run? Like a coward? And for how long? And to where? To the ends of the earth? The sky? The oceans?

Shaman turned to face the skull that barked out at him.

- Then who will teach what the World has Forgotten and Lost?

Then another spoke, it sounded the oldest of all. A patient voice that barely hid the tone of bitterness towards the potential futures that lay before them.

- How do you think you can defeat him?

To this Shaman did not answer. But every spirit in the chamber knew his plan. And soon they all began to scream and yell at him, calling him obscenities. Shaman turned to leave. His destiny was manifest, only so to ensure others were not. As he began to ascend up the narrow passage again, he remembered what he had said to his master on top of that mountain all those years ago. When his master asked him whether he should teach him his secrets.

A young Shaman looked around the barren wasteland, void of anything spare two men and a mountain. Shaman looked back at the master and said:

- Well I don’t see anyone else here.

It was this that made his master laugh. And he then went on to teach him every beautiful and terrible thing that he knew.

Stepping out of the passage and into fresh air, Shaman stared across the endless desert, focusing on saving his daughter.

And destroying his adversary.

Preceded by Part 4

Continued in Part 6

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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Magpie Part 4

The Colonel had placed posters around the town, the ink still glistening, fresh from the local newspaper’s press. The posters read:
Wanted: A Group of Skilled Individuals for Protection and Capture of Dangerous Person. All Fees Paid in Hard Currency. Enquire within Southpaw Saloon.

All day the Colonel sat at the back of the Southpaw, his back against the wall and facing the entry. He could see the entire establishment from his corner. Feet clunked across wooden floors boards that were loose in places.
So far everyone that had enquired about the job Colonel had rejected. He received all manner of people who could (or thought they could) handle a gun, or as one gentleman put it - sling shooting irons. If it wasn’t their boasting, the first thing that would escape their lips was:

- So how much does this pay?

The Colonel knew how much they were after, but always gave the lowest price to send them away with sour, disappointed faces. However, the Colonel knew he was running out of time. The stranger had killed his compatriots, people he trained and supported across this frontier. There was only he and Shaman left. Part of his mind would cling to the hope that the killer might seek Shaman first. And maybe, there would be a chance that Shaman would be the one to finally despatch this adversary. But it was last conversation with Shaman chilled him. He had seen Shaman do many things. He had seen him at the end of that terrible day in the valley. Covered in the ink of old tattoos and the blood of his enemies. Of his victims. He had seen for the moment an inhuman look in Shaman, which in a blink was gone. Paris avoided him after that day. The Colonel kept his promise and allowed Shaman to walk away and never enter another battle again.

The whiskey bottle was empty, and so it seemed that the Colonel’s time was up. But the Colonel wouldn’t go without bringing one final war.

The train of thought was ended when a newcomer entered the saloon. Dressed in a dark coat, covered in the dust from the desert wind. A mottled black hat with a wide brim hid his features. The Colonel could feel the cold steel of the derringer in the palm of his hand. The killer always got very close to his kills. The man came up to the table without a word, heavy boot thudded across the floor. And then stopped opposite to the Colonel.

- Excuse me, sir.

His voice was gravely and low

The Colonel narrowed his eyes, his finger felt for the trigger.

- Are you the one who has put up those posters around town? The same which claims you are looking for – skilled individuals?

Exhaling, the Colonel eased his grip on the derringer in his hand.

- Yes.

The tall man removed his hat from the crown of his head in respect.
His face seemed worn like the cliffs in a desert wind.

- Well I was wondering, in regards to the certain dangerous person you needed protecting from, how dangerous is he?

The Colonel smiled.

- You know something, you are the first person to ask me that all day. Please take a seat.

- Much obliged.

The man took out a chair and sat down, placing his hat on the table.

- And what is your name?

The Colonel eyed the man, which the man returned in kind.

- Most of all people call me Eli, so I guess that’s what I go by now. But you still haven’t answered my question.

The Colonel sat back, his smile eroded.

- Very dangerous. He has killed a number of my friends and a few others. All very skilled people. Such as I imagine you would be.

Eli nodded, rubbing his with his index finger.

- Oh I’ve been in a situation or two. And I’m around still to say how it got resolved. Do you know what he looks like?

- I’ve had reports that it’s just some pale kid in a coat that just too big for him. He guns down anybody that stands in his way, but he’s always hunting someone in particular. Heard that he walks the entire way too. Doesn’t have a horse, can’t ride or won’t. Thing is that he takes the weapon they’ve used and something else they’ve had on their person. Never takes any currency. Whatever he takes of value isn’t for selling, but for some kind of memento. And now I believe he’s coming after me.

- Your adversary sounds mighty interesting. Any reason why he might be coming after you?

- And that is the damnedest thing. I have no idea why. I figured it might be a job we did a number of years ago, figured it was a family member out for a spot of revenge. But I heard the boy barely speaks, or he some kind of mute. I’ve seen plenty of people on a vendetta. They all have a story and they are all proud to tell it to anyone. This boy, well, he just doesn’t have a story. He just kills. And he kills very well.

Eli sat silently taking this in. The Colonel leaned in slightly.

- And you’re still interested in the job?

Eli nodded contemplatively.

- Yeah. Yeah, why not. And I’ll help you find others, considering the turnout I’ve heard you had today.

A smile slithered across the Colonel’s face. He signalled over to the barkeeper

- Excellent. Let’s have a drink.

One of the bar staff brought over a fresh bottle of hard liquor and two glasses. A young woman poured out the amber liquid with soft hands. The Colonel watched her intently, rubbing his index finger against his bottom lip. Eli watched them both. The girl seemed to ignore the Colonel body language, as a woman working in such a place, with men filled with drink and certain ideas might. Eli knew the Colonel was no better than anyone he worked for. But a job was a job. And Eli knew this might turn out to be the strangest yet.

The Colonel raised his glass to toast the newfound deal. Eli raised his.

- Salud.

Chrystal clinked together and both Eli and the Colonel found each other sipping at their whiskey. They both smiled.

Preceded by: Part 3
Continued in Part 5 (Coming Soon)
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Friday, May 29, 2009

Magpie - Part 3

A lone oak stood on the steep hill, providing the only shade for seemingly miles around. From this point, an entire horizon of countryside could be seen. Rolling green meadows and grazing fields, rising hills, sparse woods and rows of orchards made this vista. Beneath the tree, Paris sat back dozing on a chair, his hat lowered over his face. Nearby sat an easel and on it, a canvas. Below was a toolbox of paints in tubes, brushes, palette knives and rags.

Above Paris a couple of birds chirped sweetly before fluttering out of the foliage and into the sky. Behind him a voice spoke out.

- You’ll never finish it if you keep sleeping.

Paris, not moving from his spot, spoke in return.

- Just resting the eyes. Need to pick out the detail, you know.

- So you keep saying.

The voice was closer. Like the birds it was sweet and song. Paris felt as if a shadow had crossed over him. Slowly lifting the brim of his hat, Paris already knew who it was. Heather. His love had long golden hair that came alive in the wind and faded freckles on her skin from a childhood in the sun. She wore a dress the colour of leaves in autumn, that kind of sweet dry brown. She held a covered basket, her arm looped through the handle.

- I brought something in case you were hungry.

Paris smiled.

- And this is why I love you.

Heather rested the basket near the chair and moved over to the painting resting on the easel.

- So I want to see this painting that you seem so satisfied with that you sleep away the day.

Paris lifted himself from his seat, adjusting his hat so that it staying atop of his head.

- It’s not quite finished yet.

Heather smiled at his modesty.

- Oh you always say that. With nothing finished, it’s no surprise that you never sell any of your paintings.

- Well I’ll be sure that I finish this one.

Heather always marvelled at the intricate detail of each of her lover’s works. Every one was so well painted, it seemed like he took the scenery itself and stretched into a canvas. Most of the time she had to peer around the canvas just to see if there wasn’t a hole that Paris had cut from the world.

Heather looked around the painting and easel to see the landscape still there. But there was something else. A dark figure strode across the emerald meadows. Its pace was fast, like the speed someone gets when it’s near the end of a long journey. The figure didn’t follow the road that curled its way around the mountain. It climbed over the fences that separated the pastures. The person was making a direct line for Paris and Heather.

Heather turned to look at Paris. He seemed more focused on his painting, as if there was something missing. In the back of her head she knew that something terrible was going to happen. But Paris didn’t seem concerned.

- You know what I think? I think I need some Parisian Blue. But I left it in the workshop. Would you mind getting me some?

Heather understood the meaning of this. She understood that her love had made many enemies. And that one day one of those enemies might come around. She nodded nervously and then began to move up over the back of the hill, back to the home they shared.

Paris had seen the shadow making its way across the landscape for sometime. On a clear day like this and at this elevation, he could see all the way to the horizon. He always thought a day like this might come and ran through it countless times over. When the figure reached the bottom of the hill, Paris lent over and reached into the box at the bottom of the easel. He felt the cool steel, the warm wooden grip. He pulled his SAA from the box, feeling from its weight that it was loaded. He let his arm relax, letting the heavy sidearm take his hand down to his hip.

The figure began to take form. It was a young man dressed in long black coat and underneath, sour white clothes. He was staring directly at Paris. He moved up the steep hill with ease, as if the terrain were merely an illusion.

Paris was ready, but the man had not drawn any weapon. It seemed unreasonable to Paris to fire. As the man in black reached the top of the hill, Paris stepped back to give him some room. The man had stopped. Paris observed this man. He seemed barely out of boyhood. Hair was as black as coal and skin as white as driven snow. His eyes were grey with dark rings, as if he had never slept. He seemed slightly hunched over, as though he had been driven like a beast across this landscape. His coat was overly long, his hands disappeared into the sleeves. A moment of silence passed until Paris realised that nothing had been said. He expected this man to say something, his name, Paris’ name, to call out every grievance and misery that Paris somehow caused since those days. But there was nothing. The man was silent.

- Why are you here?

The man seemed to have difficultly speaking. He bared his teeth and shifted his lips trying to shape the words. Finally, he spoke:

- You.

The word seemed to smoke its way out of his mouth.

Paris’ forearm tensed, ready for the first sign of trouble. So Paris asked again:

- Then what have I done to you?

The young man paused at this, as if trying to understand the question.

- Nothing.

Paris could feel his heart beat in his chest. He couldn’t read this man. Here he was travelling miles on foot, dressed clothes that didn’t fit, to walk in a straight line directly for him. Why? If not for revenge, then what?

- Then what the hell do you want?

When Paris spoke the fear cracked in his voice. Fear he hadn’t felt since when he stared down the eye piece of his rifle and saw a man covered in blood and tattoos in that burning valley. Staring back at Paris with possessed eyes. Paris pulled the hammer back on his gun with his thumb.

Again, the young man in black had trouble finding the words, as if the entire concept was foreign.

- You.

Then his hand began to snake out of the sleeve and into his coat. Paris felt he should react, but could not shake himself from the stranger’s dark eyes. The hand pulled the coat open slowly, to reveal a pistol that was silver with a black handle.

Paris blinked, snapping out of his trance. His arm raised, his finger squeezed the trigger. The SAA spoke loudly. At the same time, the young man darted to the side, his other hand darting out of the sleeve into the coat like a sidewinder on the attack. In a fluid motion, the young man drew and fired.

Paris let out a hot smoky breath, stumbled back and fell to the ground. It was noon, the sun beamed down him from high above. Then a shadow eclipsed everything. The young man drank deep of Paris’ final breath. Standing up, the young man stretched out, exhaling slowly. He lent over again to pick up Paris’ gun. He held it like a curiosity, between thumb and forefinger, staring at it like a child might with a spider or frog, studying its form. Standing up again, the dark man tucked the gun into his belt and turned to leave. The painting seemed to catch his eye. Something felt unfinished about it, though the man never touched pigment to canvas before. He titled his head to one side, and thought it might be a blue. Though he couldn’t be sure which. Then without further thought, the young man went down the hill. In a new direction.

Later Heather returned, with a rifle in one hand and a tube of paint in another. As she reached the top of the hill, she couldn’t see either Paris or the stranger. Fearing the worst she ran to the tree, only to find the easel and her love lying on the ground. In her grief, Heather couldn’t feel the tears run down her face, nor the Parisian Blue running over her clenched fingers.

Preceded by: Part 2
Continued in Part 4
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Saturday, May 9, 2009

Playlist

Here’s a quick cap to what I am listening to at this very moment.

Venetian SnaresFilth

Yet to be released in the Antipodes, Aaron Funk’s latest release is full of dirty beat, grimy glitches and rusty sawtooth synth. As usual each Venetian Snares album is a little different from the previous, with some similar veins from his previous album, Detrementlist. And a theme that makes me wonder how much porn he’s been watching lately. I mean the titles of the songs include “Deep Dicking”, “Chainsaw Fellatio”, “Splooj Guzzlers” and “Pussy Skull”. Despite this, all of the tracks are very listenable. Though keep it away from your kids. You don’t them turning into weirdos. Right?

RatatatLP3

On a totally different end of the spectrum, the smooth guitar and synth workings of a Brooklyn duo are played out in this album. Only listened to it a couple of times, but a number of the items are pretty catchy, particularly Mirando. If you check out their webpage, you can see the music videos they made. Kinda weird and freaky. This weekend I’m going to see what they are like live. Should be entertaining. If you’re a fan of Pivot, Boards of Canada, Chrystal Castles or Ladytron, should also find this entertaining.

AfrirampoUrusa in Japan

This weird J-Girl punk duo that hails from Osaka, along with their blood-siblings Acid Mother’s Temple and The Boredoms, made this album back in 2005. And what a gem it is. It’s raw, random and energetic. Just about every thing that Afrirampo do feels like a jam session (the same charm that the Acid Mothers Temple have). In this album they revisit some old singles and give them a re-record. Normally, I oppose this (finger pointing at you Wolfmother) but in this case, some of the tracks are tighter and without the static hiss. Expect a lot of two girls screaming into the mics. The best parts of the album are two tracks, Thunder and In The Space Night. If you really enjoy this one move on their stranger album Kore Ga Mayaku Da.

The DronesGala Mill

Having seen them live last week, I’ve just been listening to their Gala Mill album, all recorded in some backwater farm in the Antipodean Deep South. They make a really energetic live show. At the bar where I saw them play, they proved to be too much for the sound system. Everything blew out and turned black right at the last second when they wound up “Nail It Down”. For me “Jezebel” and “I Don’t Want To Ever Change” really stand out for me. But I guess that’s because I’m more partial to their first album, Here Come The Lies. Still the Drones are truly underrated and any chance you have to seem them, go and do it.

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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Earth Eaters


A former editor continues to send me material. Amongst usual flotsam of pornography and random photos and story snippets, I received an album from a group called Monster Zoku Onsomb!. The last time I heard anything from these people were at a live show at the Globe theatre, an underground cinema with retro feel, a bar of cheap beer and a minimal number of fire escapes. Back then it was the launch of their debut album, Attack!. I often wondered when another album would crop up. So I was surprised to find, buried beneath ransom notes and pre-Twentieth Century erotica, MZO’s latest album, Earth Eaters.

Monster Zoku Onsomb is one of those oddball things you find difficult to classify. And its defiance to be pigeonholed is its charm. I guess “bizarre” best describes them. I have a keen taste for the bizarre. After all, strange desert racers, go-go dancing killers in cat suits, communist aliens that desire the prettiest of the capitalist ivy-league virgins and Chambre d’Cauchmars are the things I look out for. So Earth Eaters is a ride of smooth electronics, keen beats, rolling bass and strange taste. This has a tighter feel than their previous album, but I do kind of miss the heavy mash-ups.

There are a few tracks that really stand out. Suicide Sine Wave starts out like surfing on a radioactive coastline, dotted with the Martian wreckage. Drag Stripper is a race across the salt-flats of a nuclear testing site. Earth Eaters has the base of a giant creature stamping its way across the metropolis. I don’t why I like Matterhorn Stab; maybe it’s the drums… Xylophobia is a soundtrack to some classic Halloween cartoon. Team Siouxsie is an excellent wrap up for the CD, like when the credits roll in some smoke-filled matinee and your finishing your last highball. So when you wrangle a copy, stick it in your player, mix up a cocktail, kick back and enjoy the ride.

I also recommend seeing their live shows as well. They’re all pretty lively events, with blood, confetti, lasers, smoke, trampolines, and tequila. My former editor claims now they are now performing 3D live shows, which tells me they finally escaped the perils of Flatland. And this is excellent news.
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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Magpie - Part 2

Elsewhere. A homestead lies in ruin. The fences fallen apart and toppled over. Not that they were keeping in anything. The cattle were sold long ago, and they were barely worth anything. The ground was near barren, brown and rocky. What little grass remained was the same clay-brown as the earth that bore it. The building itself was slowly separating, even now the boards that made the shell, were loose and would rattle in wind. The house looked like a skull, decayed on the deserted ground. But none of this bothered the occupant. He was living on borrowed time.

A young woman approached the homestead. She looked back at the wagon that brought her here. The driver, turned elsewhere, so that his attention did not seem transfixed on her. She returned her attentions the house and moved up old stairs and onto a porch. Both groan and wheezed as though she stepped on the near dead.

She crossed the threshold into that house. Dust and dirt had come in through every available open and settled here. Everything was clay-coloured. The walls rooms were bare, only vast plains of boards could be seen. There was no furniture. A crate of food, salted meats and tinned sundries lay in the corner. The woman turned to a closed door. Pushed gently, it creaked loudly, protesting. Inside the room was a man kneeling as if in pray, but not quite so. He his hands were not clasped together and held under his chin, but instead lay relaxed on his lap. He did not seem bothered by her entrance, all announced by the house. Around in this room lay the bare few items: a simple mattress and worn blanket, a blackened chamber pot lay in the corner. Some books lay piled in the corner. Against the wall sat a large leather case, worn, dusty and locked.

- Cassandra, he said, what brings you out all this way?

She turned her head, to look around the house.

- I heard you sold all of your things. At least that’s what the people in town said. And that you were selling it all for pennies.

- That’s true. Some felt strange for taking it for free. They wanted to pay something.

-But –

-I didn’t need those things. They weren’t important. No one seems to make sense of that.

He smiled, trying to reassure her with this. But it did not. She was certain that her father had begun to lose his mind. A lifetime of guilt and regret had finally corrupted him.

- What if you come back to town with me? Set you up in the hotel -

She pleaded but was cut off again.

- No. Why don’t you understand what I want is right here? Those things, all of those things, were a burden. The table, I never ate at it. The chair, I spent too much time sitting on hardscrabble under the stars to get used to it. And the bed…

He paused, hiding his true feelings.

- The bed was too comfortable.

Cassandra knew the truth. All of these things were his wife’s, her mother. Every piece of furniture reminded him of her, and his failure. He had fought and survived and won so many battles that he lost the home front. She read it in him plain like an open book, just as he did for her. He made these excuses as if to pretend for her sake. As if everything were normal. Despite the mistakes of the past, he pretended to move on. But this house felt like it was dying. She wondered if her father reflected this house. She wondered if she would have to bury another parent. That’s why she came out here. She dreamt a shadow fell over this place. Something that strode across the desert. It moved slow and steady, but nothing would stop it. Not heat, or dust, or starvation, not storms and not fire. It was inexorable. And it would claim him. She wondered if her father was just waiting for Death to come knocking.

Her father turned his head towards the grimy window. Something was coming. Her father always felt it before she did. Before either of them heard it, or even the other senses registered. Then the thudding of hooves and grinding of cartwheel against the hard ground came. The wagon outside came to a stop. The horses whinnied restlessly. Cassandra felt the shadow of a man as it drew itself across the ground from the lazy afternoon sun. She felt darkness, but not the darkness in her dream.

- I think I better be going, Cassandra said.

Her father nodded in agreement. She quickly stepped outside. As she opened the door she recognised the man connected to the shadow. He was middle-aged, hair turned grey and silver. The body had become slightly rounder, but was once fit and strong. The clothes were expensive, too expensive for anywhere nearby or any honest career. He had one foot on the first step. It didn’t groan for him.

- Hello Colonel.

Cassandra spoke with feigning dignity.

The Colonel tipped his hat.

- Afternoon, my dear Cassandra. My you are looking lovely as ever.

Fake platitudes for fake platitudes. The Colonel continued:

- I take it your father is inside.

- Yes he is.

- Well, I wonder what brings such a lovely creature like yourself out to a depressing place like this? The Colonel gestured with his hand to the house and the empty, dead farm.

- Just visiting my father. Nothing more.

And wanting to say nothing more, Cassandra headed for her wagon. The Colonel wore a sidewinder smile.

- You be careful there. Dangerous days for a beautiful young woman like you.

Cassandra told the driver to go and the horses drew the wagon around in a slow circle and made their way back to town.

The Colonel watched them for a moment, before turning his attention to the house. He moved up the steps without a sound. And old trick he had kept in practice. It allowed him to sneak from unwanted guests that his wife had brought. It let him to move around the house at Christmas as a proxy for Saint Nick for his children. With this skill, he killed men in their own encampment, their throats cut like a second smile.

Despite his silent steps, he knew the man inside was expecting him. He entered the house and then stood at the bedroom door. He looked around the house as if admiring the place for its ability to continue standing.

- I like what you have done to the place, Shaman. The Colonel noted. – Nice décor.

Shaman still looked out the window towards the horizon that Cassandra disappeared on.

- Do you want a drink, Colonel?

- Sure.

Shaman moved out the bedroom, past his old comrade, towards the kitchen. He reached up into a cupboard with both hands and pulled out two small glasses and a clear glass bottle. There was a small amount of amber and gold liquid in the bottle. Shaman set these things on the stove.

Shaman immediately read the Colonel's intentions

- So you want insight?

- Yeah.

The Colonel replying as he looked around for somewhere to sit, but realising that there was none.

– Came here for advice. And to bring news.

- News?

Shaman looked up at the Colonel. He rarely asked questions.

- Yes. You hadn’t heard? Clara’s dead. Gunned down outside her own home. In front of her kids. Terrible thing for children to see. But this is the problem. We think the same fellow killed Ichi, and Clarke and Jackson. Hell, he’s even got to a card shark down the Mississippi and a few others.

Shaman uncorked the bottle slowly, the cork making a lengthy squeaking sound.

- What I want to know, the Colonel continued, is that if this guy is hunting us. And what I need to do to stop him.

Shaman poured the amber whiskey out into one of the small glasses.

- I can see a man dressed in the same colour of his shadow. He goes everywhere by foot, as no animal will carry him. He is moved by something that robs him of sleep and stays his need for food and drink and safety.

Shaman poured the other glass that perfectly emptied the bottle and at the same time, perfectly filled the glass.

- He is a hunter. Like you and more than you.

Shaman handed the Colonel the glass. The Colonel nodded his head.

-Salud.

They both drank.

Swallowing the last remnants of the burning whiskey, Shaman reminisced, picking up the empty bottle.

- Do you remember when I got this bottle?

The Colonel smiled, the memory coming back.

- Yeah. I remember, we picked it up after the whole valley thing. Your whole strategy about setting those fires paid off.

Shaman was holding up the bottle looking through the crystal clear glass

- Do you remember what I said when I got this bottle?

The Colonel shook his head slightly.

– No…

Shaman looked directly at the Colonel, as if looking down upon him.

- I said that the last time we would meet would be when this bottle was empty. It would be when I would give my last piece of advice to you.

- And that is?

Shaman looked back at the bottle, as if it were a prism that could separate the light.

- One day, we all find ourselves hunted. This man, who has killed our friends is a force of nature. He cannot be bought with coin or a lover’s warmth or a safe place. You will not be able to outrun him or hide from him. You will need to stand and fight.

The Colonel wiped his mouth. There was a bitter aftertaste in the face of this advice. His smile had gone. Taking this in, the Colonel nodded. Shaman had always told the truth. And it always came true.

- Well. Best of luck then. See you later.

Shaman did not draw his attention away from the bottle.

- There is no later. Goodbye Colonel.

The Colonel left. Shaman could hear the wagon pull away, the sound of the horses and wheels disappear into the dusk.

Shaman place the bottle on stove, returned to his room and sat down on the floor cross-legged. He closed his eyes. The sun had sunk lower and lower. Everything had become dark. Except behind Shaman’s eyelids. There was a light that only he could see. It was strange the way it rose, like sun setting in reverse, clouds traced across the sky like fingers. Shaman’s sight raced across the land, a wide barren desert of rock, stone and mesa. An empty wilderness that tested everyone who dared to cross it and claimed most. His vision raced across the landscape at an incredible speed. Shaman knew the thing that he was looking for. Suddenly from the edges of the horizons sprang a great mountain. Alone in the desert it was a behemoth standing over everything. This mountain was old as the sun it now blocked. Let shadow meet shadow, said words in Shaman’s voice, but not his. This would be his battleground. This would be the place to test who was the hunter and who was quarry.

Shaman opened his eyes. The sun had long left the day. Even in the darkness, Shaman moved over to the leather case and opened it. He knew where everything was. He picked up his guns, put in his coat, rolled his blanket, and picked some food out of the crate. Then he was out the door into the darkness. Speeding towards his final stand.

Preceded by: Part 1
Continued in Part 3
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Monday, April 20, 2009

Magpie - Part 1

The house stood on the hill overlooking the dry, golden fields of grain. A light wind had them swaying. In the right light, a late summer afternoon, dry and cooling, these fields would look like a shimmering sea of gold with waves rippling in the setting sun. The other side of the house was shielded from the weather and prying eyes by a small copse. It was made of trees that seemed hundreds of years old, tall and strong, unyielding to the elements. They stayed green for most of the year.

Two girls played on the porch. Dressed in pastel colours, long dresses and small black boots. One, with darker hair, read quietly on the long chair made of pine. She was the older sister, but still not big enough for her feet to reach the solid wooden floor of the porch. The younger girl, clinging to a doll made of soft cloth and filled with stuffing, skipped across the porch. Skipped and bounced to a tune that ran in her head and had no words.

Annoyed, the older sister closed her book. Mimicking maturity, she barked at her sister
- Will you stop that?
The younger seemed perplexed at the order.
- I’m just playing.
The older one sighed.
- You’re such a child.

There was movement in the copse below, a shape slipped between the shade of the trees. There was no sound to be heard, no even the rustling of leaves or the short, snapping sound of branches. Well-placed feet made their way through the copse.

A figure emerged, a young man, lean and tall. He walked with a strange gait. Oddly paced, yet deliberate steps. Moving towards the porch, where the girls stood. They froze, unsure what to make of this man. The older sister saw that the legs of his black trousers were too short, nearly rising up half his shins. In contrast, his jacket was too big, with the sleeves coming down over his hands. Both jacket and trouser were black. Beneath the jacket was a white shirt that had become stained will dirt and grime. His skin was pale and off-white, and dark rings surrounded his eyes and hair equally black, shortly cropped on his head and styled in no particular fashion. The older sister could also see three guns strapped to his waist. And something else, like a knife that sat in an ornate sheath decorated in what looked like flowers.

He stepped up to the bottom of the stairs and looked up at the girls.
The older sister stepped forward, in front of her younger, as if to protect her.
- Hi girls.
His voice seemed to sing a little, though he also seemed out of breath, like he walked halfway across the world to see this place.
- Is your mother at home?

The older sister backed towards the door of the house, while grabbing her sisters hand in reflex.
- Mom!

Inside, Clara looked out the window, the moment she heard her girls stop talking, even before they called out for her. She watched the man glide to the front porch. She stood there at the window the whole time and until her child had called for her, she was transfixed with a fear that this man had finally come to her door. When her eldest daughter, Helen, called out, she snapped out of it. She dashed out the front door and moved to the tops of the stairs, so that she was between this man and her girls.

She stared at him with a transfixed gaze. Half was in fear and the other half, like the evil eye.
- Helen, Kate. Go inside.
The girls followed their mother’s words without hesitation. Clara did not take her eyes away from the young man. The moment she heard the front door close, she spoke again:
- Why are you here?

The young man leaned in close, smiling gently.
- Oh…you know why. You have something that I want.

Clara had heard of him. She received the news from the wire and letters from an old acquaintance. Clara had known the people that this man had killed.

Already she had recognised the man’s clothes and his weapons. They belonged to her comrades – former comrades – from a time that was thought forgotten. Vicious times and brutal days, unforgivable things were done those years past. Now that she had daughters, she found a peace and left her violent ways. But there always was the dread that her past might come back to haunt her.

Originally she thought that it was someone out for vengeance. She had this notion when she heard the potter and poet were dead. They made a bad name for themselves and many enemies in those days. Further letters revealed that this same man tracked a conman on the Mississippi. And some ex-army fellow turned preacher. Two people who had no connection to Clara, her acquaintance or her former comrades.

This was not revenge.

The man spoke again
- So do you want to do this now? I can wait a while. Some like to say goodbye to others first.

- You’re not taking my daughters.

The young man seemed offended by this, as if she mistook his agenda.

- No…You…What I want is inside you. No harm will come their way.
He paused, as he looked at her. It didn’t seem that she believed him
- I promise. Nothing will happen

He seemed to speak the truth on this. He was only after her. Something within her, insubstantial to her, but worth enough for him to travel so far on foot to find her.

Clara went back inside, the young man didn’t move from his leaning on the stair post. She raced through the house into her room, got down on her knees and reached under her bed. Her hands felt something old, oily and leathery. They grabbed frantically at this and wrenched it out into the light. An old trunk made of dark brown hide, worn from years of use and neglect. This was Clara’s past. She opened the case and there lay the shooter, a revolver made of steel and iron. It had a handle fashioned from wood that came from the copse outside. Beneath it was the holster and belt that she had worn at her waist before it gave way to motherhood. It fit around her again. For the briefest of moments, she felt the reckless and dangerous joys of her youth. Somehow she wanted to return to those days, where there was death and beauty. She couldn’t. Her fate stood waiting outside in mismatched clothes. She slid the gun into its rightful place. Striding from her room, about leave out the front door, she heard the unmistakable sound of her youngest sobbing. She turned to her family, her husband and father of her two daughters, whose tears were streaming down their small faces.

Her husband knew of the life that she led, though he took no grievance of it. Until now. She took some steps towards them, but then abruptly stopped.

- Go. Leave this place. If I walk from this, I’ll find you.

She wanted to hold her daughters and dry their tears. She wanted to kiss her husband and make love to him. She wanted to run, away with them. But that would only seal their fate. She knew this dark man outside. This demon also took the lives of any who stood in his way. Men, women, even animals and children, he killed without remorse.

- Can I help? I can get the rifle…

Clara shook her head, her eyes told her husband everything, You are no match for him.

Clara turned and walked out the front door.

The man was still there, casually scratching the back of his neck. The afternoon was turning to sunset, and the insects were coming out. As she came down the stairs, her eyes never leaving his dark gaze, he spoke, almost warbling.
- Where do you want to do this? I imagine that around back has a fine view-

Clara had cut him off there.
- Here. Right here. Right now.

The man nodded, complying with her wish, while scratching the back of his head.

They both walked out onto the green grass into the cool shadow of the house, with the trees risen up on the other side. Between them was a distance of about twelve yards. The dark man had removed his coat as he got into his position. Clara saw all his weapons. The dark smoky wood of Jackson the poet’s six-shooter. The eagle embossing on Paris’ SAA. The cherry –blossom pattern on the tanto of Ichi the potter. She suddenly noticed the charms of bracelets, the rings of silver and gold and rosaries that adorned this man. He was the cause of death to many.

- Whenever you’re ready.

His voice was smooth, his dark eyes transfixed on her. Her eyes matched his.

An uncounted moment passed. The wind picked up and rustled through the trees and rushed through the grain. The peep and cry of birds could be heard in the distance. Then everything went quiet, the calm before the storm.

Clara’s hand, quick as lightning, whipped the revolver from her waist and at shoulder-level, delivered her final shot. The dark man was not as fast to draw, but instead dodged, falling, rolling to the ground, and drawing in the tumble. A second shot rang through the trees. Startled birds scattered from their perches.

Clara had her gun fixed on her target that crouched in the soft ground. But though she beared on it, she couldn’t squeeze the trigger. Her body was frozen and numb. The gun suddenly became so heavy that her arm fell. The weapon dropped from her hand. There was a burning sensation in her chest, like a coal had lodged itself in her chest and she was choking on it. She coughed and tasted the iron-tang of her blood. She felt the fabric of her dress become warm and wet. Clara fell to her knees, her gaze still as fixed as her adversary. Falling back, her head hit the soft ground. Clara could no longer move. She stared with abandon at the clear blue sky, with wisps of cloud slowly drifted across.

As she lay there dying, Clara heard steps approach her. A shadow fell over the dying woman. She choked back the blood that she was drowning her. Dark eyes met hers. He kneeled down so he could be closer to her.

- That courage. That’s what I was after.

The man’s face was only inches from hers.

- Is there one last thing that you want to say?

He like a holy man taking last rites.

All she could get out in a raspy, painful gurgle was:

- Your name - ?

- Name?
He paused.

- I don’t have one…but some call me a Magpie…

Clara heaved as she drew and exhaled her last breath and then she was gone. The man stared across his newly fallen quarry. He saw something shining at her wrist. A simple band of silver. He took it off and then put it on his own. Returning to his feet he stepped over to where Clara’s gun had fallen and picked it up, tucking it into his belt.

Magpie then looked up at the porch. He saw the oldest daughter and he knew the name now. Not just from when he had heard it earlier. It was now in his heart, as if he had reared that child for the last eight years. Helen. Her name was Helen and her favourite colour was blue because of the sky.

She was just staring at him. The tears that trailed down her cheeks were drying and her eyes were filled with a confused mixture of grief and anger.

Magpie, feeling no guilt or remorse, turned and walked back into the copse. Back the way he came.

Continued in Part 2
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Thursday, April 9, 2009

Under

Construction is a constant part of this city. Like a living thing, this place is under constant renewal. From the office building I worked in, I would see half a dozen cranes dominate the skyline. They gracefully spin, slowly and surely heaving materials in and out of the sites. I was lucky enough to have a window seat at my desk. My colleagues who sit in a sea of cubicles have nothing but grey partitions as a vista. Some attempt to overcome this, but decorating it with knick-knacks and photos of happier times. But not me. At anytime I could just turn in my chair and see the blue sky painted with clouds above, and the grey stone and silver steel and dark blue glass of the city below. I enjoyed watching the construction. Seeing the workers move about like ants, carrying materials inside, talking to each other, having lunch on the newly set concrete floors. All of them seemed uniform with their yellow hardhats and orange vests. All of their work was in silence when I watched them from the window. Seriously I could do it for hours.

Near the building where I used to work, there was an old church. It seemed older than the city itself. It was an old limestone and granite building, with a steeped roof and decorated with some sculpture on the capstones that smoothed and worn away from the elements. For as long as I remembered, it was always abandoned. I never saw any services there. No long lines of patrons. The doors had always been chained shut. Metal grills bolted over the stained glass windows. Some windows were cracked or broken, but you couldn’t see inside. It was just so dark in there. It seemed odd to have such an old building in the heart of the city, where change seemed a daily occurrence. Old buildings were often quietly demolished and new buildings eventually took their place.

On Monday, I came to work and found the high temporary walls around were the church was. The standard signs adorned the wall: “Construction Site”, “All Visitors and Contractors Report to the Site Foreman” “Bill Posters Will Be Prosecuted”. As I walked past the wall, I looked up at the crane towering overhead. It was still and poised with it arm facing to the mountains. I beamed with excitement. This site was only a street away from my work. I could clearly see the whole construction from my window. I was only a couple of floors from the ground and my viewpoint initially did not give me a good idea of what was happening beyond the walls. I figured they demolished the entire church over the weekend. I was out of town on that weekend. I eagerly waited to finish work that day. I remember being exicted. Not that I get excited so much nowadays.

The next day I brought in my camera and tripod. I thought that during the day I could take a couple of photos of the construction site. I thought maybe I could keep the progress of the works; maybe compile it into a short film. So everyday I took one photo in the morning, one at midday and another before I left for home. The thing with new high-rise buildings is they first build the elevator shaft several stories and then build the rest of the building around it. If the building needs to be higher, the workers extend the shaft and then return to the building at large. Over the next couple of weeks I saw these towers of concrete rise above the temporary walls. They looked like mushrooms with the construction housing sitting on top, setting the latest layer of concrete. I took the first series of photos home on the weekend and figured I need to take more. So I set a timer for every hour and took a photo then. It was really just pressing a button as the camera was already focused on the site. After a while, the construction workers built a giant framework around the building. It was made of mesh and looked like it was stolen from the batting cages. Eventually it wrapped around the entire site, like a cage for some oversized creature. Inside you wouldn’t be able to see too well, but there was the steel pipes that made up the framework supporting the concrete floors above. As more floors were added the darker it became. But there I was, every hour taking photos of the progress. It was something to do, to break the monotony of work. I enjoyed it at first. Watching the clock, for the next reminder to show up and then “click” another shot made. Soon enough though, the construction site began to worry me.

It’s all about supply and demand. Weekend work is not an uncommon thing for construction workers. It’s extra money and God knows in those days, I guess they needed it. With the work going ahead seven days a week, it meant that I missed out on some of the progress. I began coming into work on the weekends for a couple of hours to even out the empty spaces in the progress. But everyday, when I started work and left to go home, the sound of construction was as constant as ever. It didn’t seem to stop. But I didn’t think much of it. I figured that there were two shifts running the site. Maybe more with the weekend work. I sometimes wondered at the cost of trying to get this building finished on time. Nothing seemed suspicious until one night. I had parked in the city. I left my car in a place where I knew it would be free. In the end I stayed longer than I expected, meeting with a few people in a bar for drinks. It got late and I thought I better get home. I had to walk past my work and the site. It was near midnight and I expected to see a silent skeleton, sitting still in the darkness, with the crane quietly keeping an eye on it. No. I heard the sound of impact drills, the buzz cutting of saws, the hammering of steel. I saw the flashes from welding or the sparks from the grinding of angles. How much was this building worth, I wondered. No sane person would work into the night. When I got home, I was tired, but I couldn’t sleep. All I could think about was the endless construction.

I began to get headaches. I woke up earlier than normal. My home seemed dull and grey, with nothing to do. I decided to go to work early, maybe take a cat nap before the day really started. The city seemed practically deserted. It was something like six. The sun had not really risen above the horizon and everything seemed stuck in a grey twilight. I walked past the site and found it quiet. I felt relieved, but then I was frozen by the noise. It was like a bell. But, at the same time, not like a bell. Like a hammer, violently meeting a long piece of steel tube in long even strokes: TONG TONG TONG TONG. There was something I felt behind it. Something I couldn’t hear. I shook. I didn’t know what came over me. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, these construction workers appears and made their way toward the gates of the site. Most people on their way to work chat and smile, laugh and complain. But not these people, they quietly marched towards the gate, orderly and cowed. Some had sunken dark eyes. Some looked starved. They filed into the site, and I could see into it. I went to work. I didn’t get a nap. I watched construction throughout the day. I couldn’t focus on anything else. My headaches didn’t go away. I loaded myself with painkillers, but they just hummed through my skull. I took photos all day and did no work. The next day, I was told to work back. There were a few people sick today. I worked into the night. And I heard that terrible bell again. Even through the double paned glass of the building that silenced the city. I could hear it in my skull. TONG TONG TONG TONG. I still didn’t sleep, at least not in any consistent way. All I could dream about was an animal, I don’t know what it was, but I could feel its bones. They were moist and warm, the sinews and strings of muscle seemed to write and wriggle across it, like thousands of worms right in my hands, tightening and binding around the bone, decaying in reverse. The creature seemed to lash out at me. Then I would wake. And I could hear in the distance the strange bell. I lay in my bed eyes wide open, unable to move. I began to get nosebleeds.

I went to work, but I was told to go home. They said I was too sick to work, even with so many away. I saw a doctor and he prescribed some pills to help me sleep. They did not work. All I could think about was the construction. I looked through the photos, scrutinising every photo for a clue, or something to explain this madness. I eventually saw it. The people in the photos had changed. No longer the yellow hardhats and the safety orange-coloured jackets dominated the scene. I saw people in regular clothes, tracksuits, business wear all through the site, working and cutting and drilling and building. I had to get to work. I had been away for a several days and wanted to claim my camera. That would be my excuse. The traffic was quiet on the way in. There seemed to be no one on the road. It was peak hour. It didn’t click. Not at first. I was only concerned about the progress on the building. No one was on the street. No foot traffic. No students breaking away from class. No busy people. Or homeless. I went into work and found it deserted, an empty silent sea of grey. I went to my desk and looked at the construction. It was enormous now. The scale had bloated out, spilling over the temporary wall. The whole work now seemed erratic. Supports and girders jutted out the sides at all angles. The concrete formations seemed warped. The whole chaos seemed it shouldn’t have stood, but there it was, a monstrosity rising out of the ground.

I began to watch it over days, taking photos that were relevant. Swarms of people would come and go throughout the day. The entire structure was a hive under constant activity. Hammering and drilling and welding. Four times a day that terrible bell would ring. TONG TONG TONG TONG. I’d cover my ears, but I would feel it in my skull. By the time it stopped, I would be on floor, curled foetally. Workers would leave and be replaced by other drones. Each of them looked haggard, worn to the bone. I never saw them take out any fallen or sick. Each of them would walk, hobble or limp out. But they could move under their own strength. I dreaded what they did to those exhausted from the construction. The whole thing would only stop late at night, in the witching hour. But this respite was only mere moments before the bell sounded again and I picked myself of the floor to see people crawling all over the site.

I went home along vacant empty roads. I see other cars but we pass like ships in the night. Sometimes, I could see a fire and smoke rising from an abandoned suburb. There is no one to tend to it and it burns through dusk and dawn. I found myself breaking into supermarkets and shops for food. I carry a large kitchen knife to protect myself, hoping someone else didn’t have a gun. I avoided anything that made too much noise. Some days I could hear large groups of people moving, stripping a supermarket or convenience store of anything edible or buildable. Other times I would see the lone stranger, picking through what was left behind, be it the instant noodles or cans of dog food. We never talked, just show each other our improvised weapons and then go about our business at opposite ends of the building. This is what we have been reduced to.

I don’t know why the construction hasn’t claimed me yet. I don’t know how I haven’t been drawn to it like my friends or most of everyone in the city. It repulses to think of entering. It’s like an allergic reaction I guess. I can see the thing in my dreams and now from the horizon when I looked through my bedroom window. Time is doing strange things, days feel they stretch out for weeks, but the weeks roll by in moments. It’s become harder to find food and shelter, I’ve found whole neighbourhoods destroyed and dismantled.

I’ve decided to go there. I’m going to wait for that bell in the streets and try to stay standing. And when the gates open for the change, I’ll melt into the throng of people and go inside and find out what abomination has swallowed this city. I don’t know if I can stop it, but I guess I go through that door when they build it.

Don’t come for me. Leave while you can.

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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Apologies



Hi. I apologise for the lack of updates for the last month or so. There were several projects I was involved in and it was material that would not be uploaded. Yet.

New content to come tomorrow.

Thank you for your patience.

Jack
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Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Burlesque Hour

I found The Burlesque Hour by chance, breezing through the local street press. I was looking for things to do at the Fringe festival. Of course, I haven’t been yet, because the universe plots against me going.

Anyway, I’m at the Street Theatre. The night has shifted down to being cool as an open fridge. The oven-heat of summer has gone. I finally feel I have energy again. I roll up my sleeves to take it all in. I feel brilliant. The Street Theatre sits on the edges of one of this city’s universities. New buildings have sprung up, absorbing vital car parks. Some of the construction is nearly completed, new cafes, restaurants and convenience stores are stocked and shelves stacked, setting up for trade. The evening light filters through the skeletal steel and concrete of unfinished buildings. I walk under street lights made of two-dimensional coloured shapes. In the distance I can hear the sound of drums and symbols, people practicing for a parade involving a Chinois Dragon. Bang, tisch, bang, tisch, bang, tisch, tisch, bang, bang, bang.

Inside the foyer of the theatre are people hanging around the bar, huddled and cuddling glasses of pinot noir, bottles of semillion and the occasional beer. I go over to the booth, and the girl behind the anti-theft glass asks me what I want to see (Answer: The Burlesque Hour), my name (Answer: Anonymous) and where I heard about the show (Answer: Some local street press – she seemed a little perplexed about this one). I hand over my bread and take my ticket. Then I wait. The people around me are theatre-goers. Or at least one half of them should be. The thing I find about people who like the theatre and the stage, normal move in packs. But sometimes, and I’m seeing a lot of this tonight, they also come as couples. And you can see that some of the pairs, that one partner was obligated to go. However, I am alone.

Eventually, the bell rings, tolling for us to enter. Inside, the stage is with a runway that descends into the front row. Tables and chair are arranged around the runway, giving people with drinks and booze an opportunity to continue watching the show. The curtains are red and crème. Red Chinois lanterns hang all around, like angry, or possibly horny spirits. The sign, advertising the title of the show, is set with bulbs in a heart shape, looping in a flashing cycle. Ushers direct the drinkers to their runway-view seats. I sit a couple of rows up, wondering how this will play out.

Now seeing as there is one more day that this show will air, I don’t want to spoil any surprises. However you should expect a trapeze performance, dancing, singing, blood, balloons, milk, numerous underpants, strawberries, a two hundred pound female gorilla, and some nudity. You should seek to sit as close to the stage as possible. And wear your most expensive, stain-vulnerable clothes. You want to look your best after all.

That all said, it was slightly different in terms of what I was expecting for burlesque. I was thinking more classical style of burlesque. Something along the lines of the Velvet Hammer, or a show that followed the vaudeville in the days before colour film and when Orson Wells was scaring people with Martians. By the time the show ended, I found myself leaving the theatre with a spring in my step, breathing in the cold night air. Goodbye Summer.


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Sunday, February 1, 2009

Storm Clouds

The clouds hang above me, dark and rippled. It rained a little earlier and only just. The thunder doesn’t boom, it gurgles, like the distorted sound of a sink emptying.

I can relate. I feel empty after today. It’s like the noose is tightening. I don’t know anything at this point. I’m without the dark blue liquid wisdom of the Magic 8-Ball. My desk is now only covered in work-related garbage and Japanese language books. I need to get out. Sometimes I think that going back to my parents might be a viable option. I know, overall, it has the appearance of failure, that I couldn’t make it on my own. But right now – it feels like a consolation prize. If it does get that bad, that I have to cross the Antipodes back to where I come from, then I will burn every possible bridge I can here. I’ve wasted a lot of opportunities, but no way am I going to miss pissing off potentially thousands of people in one go. It may be criminal, but it feels like a crime to let that one go.

The rain is coming down in waves, like it’s trying to reach that brass ring, but comes up short. The thunder occasionally rips across and grabs hold of the sky, and my attention. But the thunder is just a follow-up for some mediocre rain. I want it to storm. I want sheets of constant rain and hale hurled from the heavens. I want nothing to be safe from this storm. I want to see cars overturned, streets flooded and every smartass huddled in corners praying it would all stop. I want be scared and terrified. It’s better to feel something than nothing. Better dying terrified and alone, than just alone. Never doubt the wisdom of a softer world.

I hate summer. I enjoy the daylight hours, but I feel that 6 am to 9 pm is beyond the joke. I never sleep well in this season. Too many dreams about parasites and crazy dead people trying to teach me how to cook. The heat I get used to, but it’s everyone’s sunny dispositions that really get to me. I feel like punching them. Just crowning them right in their smug faces. Winter I excel. The hate in my heart keeps me warm.

Finally it decides to rain. Starting in spurts and then with the wind blowing, water is coming in from all directions. Thunder now tears across the sky, lightning flashes like small atomic blasts in the darkening clouds. Suddenly everything electric is out in a flash, lights, fridge and television. All dead and gone. Nothing left to do but wait out the storm. I sit back, pour myself another glass of Ringbolt and stare a the black screen of the television. My shades on, even in this twilight, the future can be bright. I invite the destruction of everything. And why not? You wait a lifetime, only to watch your own life to fall apart and not see possibly the final chapter of the human race. Think of the countless generations that waited for a day like this. Just to say: “This is It. About Fucking Time.” Screw heaven. That can wait. Damn Hell. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for. This is thousands of years of cultural indoctrination, piles of guilt and sin and condemnation. This is pollution and populace and past times. We screwed up this world, and everyone from the hypocritical preachers to blasphemous scientists are saying we have screwed with this world and we are going to pay the terrible price. But I ask when? The bill never arrives. They give a due date. You watch the mailbox. Nothing. Yet. Right now this is the perfect for me. Alone. Sitting in the dark. Getting drunk. It’s dark now and my shades are still on. I wonder if these will be on my face when the future turns to a giant dark wave of pyroclastic ash? Hmmm. The thunder is gone. The only lights available are the minute flashes of lightning from the clouds as they disappear across the skyline.

With the storm gone and darkness settling in, I decide to lie back on the couch and take a nap. No power means no thing to do but sleep like my ancestors. And that is exactly when the electricity bring everything back to life. Lights flash. Noises beep and buzz loudly, announcing their rebirth. If there is no rest for the wicked, then I am certainly one of them. Time to get back to work.

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Friday, January 30, 2009

My Hiatus

Okay so now I’m a hypocrite. For a long time, I said to people that I wouldn’t do it. But in this terrible and stressful period that has been Xmas and New Years, I’ve become weak. Very Weak. Old habits are the hardest to kill. There’s a woman at my work and she’s trying desperately to quit smoking, but occasionally, I’ll catch her. She’s had one or two. Stress Management. That’s what it’s for. Everyone has a crutch. You need one now and then to Get Through, because that is where the Way Out lies. So I fall back into old habits. And sometimes, get a new one. And this is a problem for me. Especially if I want my life to go somewhere. If I want to go overseas. I need to be saving money here. Not that I have spent any yet, because the first hit, the sample, the test taste, that initiation is always free. At least for the moment. Wait until you get the bill when you order a month’s supply. Then you’ll wonder how or why you got into this rut.

I knew a girl once that became hooked on heroin. Problem was that she couldn’t bear to inject herself. So she got her boyfriend to do it. So when the dragon needed chasing, there was this faithful smackhead ready to pump her full of drugs. I can now relate somehow to this situation, but only because someone was kind enough to pay my way into this thing he is in as well. I mean heroin is terrible and even knowing someone who is on it is devastating. You can’t do anything, except watch them get thinner and thinner until they become a methadone-addled puppet, with a one-track mind.

However, this is the 21st Century, and some people have come to realise that they don’t need to snort a powder, or inject some base into their veins. They don’t even need to smoke from an old modified coke bottle or huff from a plastic bag. Those people, the same that claim they are pure, are addicted to the adrenaline running through their veins. Their source, their pusher is within their own bodies. And a hit is never far from home. A workout at the gym, the sweat- and blood-stained floor of the boxing ring, the click of a mouse button, and in some lonely fringe, the power button of a vacuum cleaner.

In some darkened Internet café, or in basements and bedrooms of the terminally lonely, there are thousands, millions of people who reach out into virtual worlds. Ersatz Human Contact through a screen. Just type the address and you’re there. They spend their days, playing games, running from one end to another of fantasy worlds. They create and build and collaborate. They kill and steal and screw each other. They work and play and die, again and again in this place. They live their lives elsewhere. But if they could be anywhere, would they choose to be there?

Like the others above them, they will find everything around them perishing. The purist addictions will demand attention. They have a life of their own. It’s a thing that needs to feed. You may not see track marks trailing up your friends’ limbs, or the blood running from their noses. But you might see their shakes, those terrible little delirium tremens. Then they’ll be gone. They will drop whatever they are doing and fix themselves up. And then you’ll see the difference. The addictions of this terrible new age are invisible Not until you’re actually there in the grip of chasing the new kind of dragon made of LCD tones and false futuristic marvel, do you see your life changed. For better or worse, it’s up to you.

But one fine day, you will wake in that filthy hovel you once called your castle. You’ll walk among the debris of rotting clothes and furniture. Everything is unfamiliar. You’ve crash-landed onto the alien landscape that is now your life. Welcome back. Because this is where you belong. Your stupid mistakes, your decision or not, have brought to this point in space and time. As you trip over empty cardboard boxes that may have once contained food, consider how many rodents and insect have fucked each other in them. Take a long look at the soda bottles filled with sour-looking yellow liquid, knowing that you never remember buying that much Passito. Look around at the place where once kept a nesting instinct at the empty places your once had furniture, now trashed or sold while in the thrall of your habit. You’ll go into the bathroom and find it hijacked by Lovecraftian horrors. Slime and grime and creeping things that have made it worse than any Scottish public toilet. You’ll wipe the mirror only to see human wreckage. And like some burnout modern-day Ozymandias and look upon your ruinous work and despair. Take in a deep breath. Hold it. Your addiction has left that stench. That is the smell of “you’re lucky to be alive”.

Now’s a good time to quit.


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